What to do when you have a cold…

Woman after Raeburn Woman with mustard blanket Woman with red hair Woman with stripped jacket

So my BT problems are sort of sorted out …so what next?  Well I have caught a cold from a good friend – although he claims it wasn’t him and in truth he is probably right…however why should I left the truth spoil a good story…as Donald J. Trump.

So what to do?   As I don’t have to worry about work I can curl up, not really practical given my size, and catch up on some TV.  However, after a an hour or so of this it is getting a little boring so what better to make a few drawings whilst sitting there?

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Has Susan Sarandon had a nose job?

BT Doodle No 02

I know that this question does a great disservice to the renowned American actress and to be quite honest the answer is not relevant.  It is the sort of question you do ask yourself whilst waiting on the phone for awaiting someone to answer and making a drawing to help pass the time – if your interested it took from 10:46 to 11:12 am for the BT support service to answer the phone and another 30 minutes or so to hopefully come up with some form of a solution to the problem.  Only time will tell if the solution works…I hope and prey it does because the strain they have put me through was significant.

So I hope Susan Sarandon will forgive me for wondering.

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Ode to BT

BT doodle

Sometimes in life you just want to scream and swear at the whole complexity.   There was a time, not too long ago when things were so much easier to understand.  You had a problem with something then you went to local shop and they fixed it (I know this is a gross over simplification but so what).  Then we all got seduced by a modern world which few of us understood.  A world that seemed magical and intoxicating.  A world where we no longer dealt with things locally but a world where problems were consolidated and outsourced.  A world where customer service was just something  that was a short two minute survey after waiting 40 minutes to talk to someone.  Welcome to the world where you Wifi doesn’t work correctly and we all talk to each other over distances of 1000’s of miles.  Welcome to customer support from British Telecom (BT).

Of course one of the unintended consequences of tech call centre to ring you back is that you can make incredible discoveries about great artists such as Egon Schiele.  Did you know that most of his troubled drawings of women were made whilst he too was waiting for BT customer services to ring him.  I know you won’t find that information in any art history book but it must be true – otherwise how do you explain such confusion, pain and anger he seems to exhibit in every drawing.

BTW It has been 45 minutes since they should have rung me back.  It would comedic if I wasn’t paying for all this.

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Just the two of us…

Sir Gregory

Sir Gregory was one of the first to see action on Mount William in ’82 and was mentioned in dispatches for his bravery under heavy fire.  He celebrated with the rest of his comrades as they later stood on the windswept streets of Port Stanley that reminded him of family holiday he had taken when he was young on Skye.

He last saw action in the Gulf in the dry deserts of Iraq in 1991, although he never came close to any close contact as the Iraqi army melted in front of the advance.   After this it was back to the daily army grind.  The last shots fired at him in anger were on the streets of West Belfast.

After he left the army things never really worked out.  His wife left him sometime in the late 90’s, he can’t really recall.  Nor can he recall when he last saw his three children, none of which are children any more.  Much of the next decade found him watching the world go by through the bottom of a plastic cider bottle until in 2012 he was convicted of some pointless assault on a fellow occupant of the lowest rungs of society.  He received 6 months imprisonment which at least helped him to sober up and put some weight on.  However, once he had left prison the old demons returned and before long he was once more scraping a living on ever decreasing social security payments.

The 1st of January found what was left of him slumped in an old settee behind some abandoned factory premises.   No one could tell how long he had been put the wind and ran over Christmas had taken their toll.   He didn’t make it beyond the first attempt to revive him by the paramedics.  He was 52.

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In praise of Nicholas Sparks

Brady… the scenes of a group of teenage and 20-something women sharing a featureless suburban house in Florida, watched over by an apparently amiable, eerily blank young talent agent who is a combination of concierge and pimp, are authentic and effective — banal, sad, funny and weird. 

Mike Hale  New York Times  MAY 27, 2015

 

Last night I watched the Netflix Documentary Hot Girls Wanted and I have to say I found the whole experience unsettling.  I like to think that I have not lived a sheltered life and so shouldn’t be surprised at the levels of depravity that we humans will descend to but this documentary reminded me all that I no longer have to endure dealing with such things.  The idea for the documentary is to explore the reasons why and the consequence of  young women entering the amatuer porn sex market.  It is really soul destroying to see how many young women think that the quick bucks they make for their VERY short carrier compensates for the mistaken life choices.  One of the girls claims to have earnt $25k in just over three months but by the time she had finished she had only $2k left.  Unfortunately for the girls in the business there would seem to be a never ending stream of women willing to take the leap and so the average shelf life of these girls is around 3 months.  This leaves them only two options; Leave or move into even more degrading videos which, as a man, I just don’t understand the attraction of. The documentary is not without its fault, I’ll leave it to the New York Times critic above to outline those, but it is worth viewing if only to open your eyes to world out there.

To purge my soul of this I turned to Nick Sparks whose movies are a favourite.  For those of you not aware of Spark’s work well they are a variation, only slightly, of the same thing:  Boy meets girl, the relationship is complicated but they eventually work things out.  The End.   They all seem to be the same idea of small town America, usually by the sea, where the sun always shines and people seem to do most of their walking and interacting at sunrise or sunset.  I suspect it is about as real a reflection of life in America as  Richard Curtis films are about life in London – neither reflect my experience of both places.  This, of course, is not the point.  Sparks’ movies are escapism nonsense and all better for that.  He can’t be doing too many things wrong as his movie have grossed almost $1 billion.  After the heart acre and distaste served up in Hot Girls Wanted it isn’t such a bad thing to settle down to a bit of safe romantic nonsense.  Perhaps I’m getting soft in my old age…I certainly hope so.

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Star Wars….a new hope

Rae

This morning I finally caught the new Star Wars movie and it was everything a long term Star Wars fan would want.   There is one significant plot twist but apart from that it really was as if the prequels never existed.   Over the weekend George Lucas stated that he was less than pleased with the ‘retro’ feel to the movie.  He then experienced the full power of the dark side as the Disney lawyers no doubt reminded him of a clause in the contract when he sold Star Wars to Disney which said something along the lines of shut up or we’ll come after you for the billions we have just paid you.

Lucas is right…this Star Wars has a retro feel and it is so much better for it.  Gone is the Jar Jar craziness,  the idea that Hayden Christensen is a movie actor or an over indulgent script.  In its place we have a Star Wars that seems to have had one aim – to reassure the Star Wars fans that Disney was a safe home for the saga – in itself not a small achievement.  In this respect it has much the feel of the previous JJ Abrams reboot – Star Trek.

So if you haven’t seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens then please do so and so long as you don’t expect anything other than one great romp from start to finish, you’ll have a great time.

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Mr Grey sky please tell us why?

Erykah Badu Hair Sleeping it off

 

Dad daa dad da da daaa

As a very famous song goes.  I blame the continual grey weather for yesterday’s rant about how 2016 was already shaping up to being a bit of a shit.  All very gloomy and all very glass half empty.   Totally over the top and not called for …what was I thinking after all it wasn’t as if Iran or Saudi Arabia were squaring up to each other ….

Oh no here I go again!

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Happy New Year

So here we go again. A New Year and yet the same old story is being peddled to death – Corbyn is crap and dangerous and now is going to purge all the sane minded members of his shadow cabinet to replace them with rabid left wing crackpots who want to start the revolution. This is all nonsense for one very specific reason. We are four and half years from the next election so what happens now has little or no bearing on what might or might not be facing a prospective Labour Prime Minister in 2020, whomever he or she might be.

What of course really matters at the moment is the weather, as it always does in Britain. Instead of snow we seem to be suffering from a surfeit of rain which surprise surprise has cause significant flooding in places where it normally floods. Of course nowadays we try to imagine that such matters don’t happen and that we should have flood barriers that should stop such matters. Unfortunately we seem to be experiencing rainfall much above the expected that many of flood barriers have been ‘overtopped’, a horrible word that seems to have become the accepted term for too much water for the barriers.

To start with hardly anything was mentioned about the flooding because it was ‘oop north’ and what are villages in the Lake District when compared to a few house in the Thames Valley? Eventually even the news organisations appeared to understand that this was an important news so we got wall to wall coverage from the worst type of coverage which usually starts with the introduction…”..we now go live to … “ as if being in one spot is going to be able to give anything other than a distorted picture.

Then the question started to be asked about the competence of the people running the operation by those directly affected by the decisions made. Whilst it is understandable for the people flooded to be frustrated and angry it doesn’t mean that what they have to say has any real relevance on the management of a crises which is spread over hundreds of square kilometres and involving thousands or houses. It also has to be remembered that the best that can be achieve in these situations is that the problems can be ameliorated rather than solved. Water is a very heavy and when you get a lot of it very quickly nothing is going to stop it flowing where it wants to go. (Just to illustrate the point the diagram below shows the catchment area of the River Soar in Leicestershire. So to try and manage the flood problem in Loughborough involves managing the flood problem in Leicester, Melton Mowbray and all of the Soar Valley settlements which covers around around 750 thousand people – not easy)

Loughborough

(The River Soar catchment area in Leicestershire. The rivers are in blue.)

As the flood waters started to subside another question was beings asked about how much money was being spent to try and stop flooding and it became very clear very quickly that there had been significant cuts in these funds since 2010. The exact figures are in dispute but there have been cuts. This looked like a serious situation but thankfully helps was at hand a story of total irrelevance appeared to divert the public’s attention away from the cuts. It seems that the head of the Environment Agency was on holiday over the Christmas period and hadn’t cancelled it when the flooding occurred. To add a little colour to this we find out that he wasn’t sitting on the beach in Los Cristianos but rather staying at a ‘luxury villa’ on Barbados. Just to add the final twist to this spun story I am sure I read somewhere that his earns more than the Prime Minister, as if this had any relevance. All of sudden all the press want to talk about is this rather than the cuts in flood defences funds. Call me an old cynic but doesn’t this sound too much like a diversion spun by the Tory party spin doctors, especially those around George Osborne, who desperately want to make the story about anything than the cuts that George Osborne imposed.

So this is what we have to look forward to. Every story to be spun to show George Osborne to look great and every story spun to make Jeremy Corbyn look like an imbecile. In the meantime the real people of Britain try and get on with their lives whilst being neglected because it doesn’t fit George’s narrative. So let’s forget that we have one of the worst housing crises in living memory because too few house are being built and the government won’t do anything meaningful about it. That we are having a pointless referendum that few outside of the rabid wing of the Tory party want and could result in the biggest change to the country since the early 17th century just to please a few spives and chancers who see this as a way on making money on the backs of ordinary people. Compared to what might happen should we leave the EU the murderous outrages of those who claim to be ISIS supporters is going to be small beer.

Just before the end of last year if watched Charlie Brooker’s 2015 review which usually takes less than reverential look at the last 12 months. Unfortunately, even he could find few laughs in the horror that was 2015. I dread to think what he will make of 2016 come the end of December. Trump President? Out of the EU? George Osborne Prime Minister? No wonder the creators of the Thick of It won’t make anymore episodes.

Happy New Year everyone.

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Sanguine, Debbie and Back to the Future

Debbie Nude - Standing 001

Tis the season to make outlandish resolute statements of good intent only for them not to be fulfilled.  So here goes!   I’m going make a lot more drawings and sketches using Conte sanguine – there I said it and only time will tell if this is as useless as virtually every other New year’s resolution being uttered.

In truth there is something about Conte crayons and pastels that seem to agree with me and I really don’t know I don’t make better use of them.  The Debbie Harry sketch above is a case in  point.  I made this last thing at night in around 10 minutes and whilst it is rough and ready it feels more alive than many of the drawings and sketches I have been making recently.

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Carrying on a mythos theme

Water Nymph 02 Wood Sprite

Water nymph and wood sprite.  Of course as these are supernatural creatures there is no way of knowing just what they look like.

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